Day 31 of 100 Days of Blogging: Arriving and Becoming
What if each moment we have an experience of joy and wonder we could feel the moment fully, basque in it fully. I spend so much time future casting and back casting about if I did the right thing or how to hold onto something or control an outcome or how I’m perceived or if I was appropriately understood in my communications.
What if we just let go of controlling anything, our thought processes, how we are perceived, or if we did the right thing. I’ve been reflecting a lot about how to be grounded in feeling good and nice things rather than each time I am presented with a thing I desired or worked for, quickly picking out all of the things that aren’t articulated the way I want as some strange attempt to thin that pleasure is always paired with pain and sacrifice.
I think struggles with control are also struggles with imagination. When we are stuck in only imagining or wanting and desiring a particular trajectory, its often because its seemingly the most within our cognitive and emotional reach regardless of it makes sense for our reality. But what if we allowed and called in the void space each time we must shed a dead timeline that will not manifest until we can build up our imaginations to see the truth of the innumerable possibilities for the next moment or for what will or can happen in the future.
There’s some reservation I often feel with imagination because there’s a rejected part of myself that is still healing that doesn’t fully believe that any of my fantasies or dreams in which I am winning and am fully immersed in belonging and creative capacity are possible, and that if I allow myself to dream, it will ultimately leave me feeling disappointed. But when we allow ourselves to vision and dream, but also don’t attach to any particular vision or dream because we realize and are excited by the notion that there are so many possibilities awaiting us…..we design new possibilities until intuition pulls us towards the path of least resistance and the most self actualization.
I shared a lovely moment of bonding and reflecting about a new and tinder moment that a beloved experienced in his awakening to himself and the truth about the possibilities that were at his disposal when he can fully embody authentic presence, and I remembered this too for myself in processing said experience with him.
Let’s be ok with the breakdowns and buildups and not get too attached to anything except for our fascination and wonder about how we can do all of the things that turn us on and allow us to heal ourselves and our surroundings and community. If we allow ourself the ability to focus on the vision and dreams of how to architect our world, we will unfurl an entirely new world, oh and also patience is a virtue.
